


Getaway

by Solitaria



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 80's AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 11:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3380186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solitaria/pseuds/Solitaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester goes to the library with his brother every week. Every week is the same, untill there is a new man behind the desk, and Dean can't seem to forget about the man's blue eyes.<br/>WARNING: I quit this fic because I'm going to rewrite it. It wasn't really working out because I didn't plan enough. I don't advise starting this one now - you can check on the last chapter if you want the link to the second try (not up yet but will come soon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first time putting a fanfiction online EVER, or at least attempting to...  
> In the first few chapters there won't be any smut (yet), and the first time there will be, it's gonna be awkward and not extremely good, probably, since I've never done it before ;_; (but I've read plenty of fics so yeah) I hope you'll enjoy this fic anyway, and thanks for reading already!  
> I'm bad at writing long chapters, so most chapters will be about 700-1000 words.  
> \- x Solitaria

The doors of the library opened - something that didn't happen a lot here. It was an old and small library, less well than the new one in the city's center. This resulted in only old people and lazy teens, who lived far away from the center, to come here. Dean Winchester belonged to the second category.  
Nearly every week, he and his brother Sam would visit the small library to get books for Sam. The 13 year old loved reading, and since their dad was busy working all the time, Dean was the one forced to take Sam there. Not that he minded: he cared for his brother more than anything.  
Dean stepped inside, his brother right behind him. He wanted to greet the old lady behind the desk, but she wasn't there. A young, brown-haired man with the prettiest blue eyes he had ever seen was instead. Dean just stared at him. The man stared back.  
"Sorry, do you know where miss-"  
The man interrupted. "Retired. I'm her grandson. Castiel Novak, nice to meet you too."  
Dean couldn't escape the blush that started creeping up his neck. "Dean Winchester. This is my brother Sam. He-" Dean got interrupted again.  
"I get it. Well, nothing changed, just a new secretary behind the desk." The man chuckled. Dean managed to give back a slight smile before he gave his brother a small push in his back. "You can go return your books now, Sammy. Remember you can't take any more than 3 books this time, okay?"  
Sam did what he got instructed and then disappeared between the shelves to search for some new ones. Dean walked over the desk, placing his elbow on it. He used to talk to the old lady here when Sam took at least half an hour to pick out books. He wasn't planning on changing that habit, even if it was with a new secretary.  
"My grandma told me a lot about this 'handsome young man' coming here every week with his brother. Could it be that's you, by any chance?" Castiel asked.  
Handsome? Dean shrugged. "Maybe."  
"I think so." Castiel paused to scan Dean from top to bottom. "She got the handsome part right, if it's about you."  
A blush shot all over Dean's face and neck. Castiel chuckled once again. "Sorry, I know a man isn't supposed to tell another man he's handsome, right? Doesn't that count as homosexuality?"  
Dean's eyes nervously scanned the shelves. Castiel reassured him. "Don't worry, no one's here." The tense feeling in Dean's shoulders didn't disappear. Well, it wasn'te lik he agreed with the church saying homosexuality was a sin. He had been thinking about it for a few years now, the strange feeling he had that he liked both men and women. Dean tried to push away those thoughts most of the time, without any result, of course. He couldn't stop thinking about it. If his dad would ever found out, he couldn't count on living with his family anymore. He'd have to leave Sam then - he couldn't leave Sam. So he ignored his feelings.  
"Hey. I'm sorry." Castiel was frowning, a small glimpse in his eye giving away he was a tiny bit worried.  
"No, it's fine, it's just, I-" Dean wasn't able to form proper words anymore.  
The volume of Cas' voice lowered. "Are you also queer, by any chance?" Dean couldn't do a thing but not softly. "And you have a problem because your family is against it." Dean nodded again. Castiel's hand slid across the desk, softly touching Dean's arm.  
"You're not the only one. I had to leave my parents and siblings because they saw me together with a man. My grandma accepted it and took me in... I have no one left now. She passed away. That's why I work here now."  
Dean stared right into the other man's blue eyes. "I'm sorry."  
"Don't be."  
Silence fell between them untill Sam's footsteps suddenly came from behind them. The hand that apparently was still on Dean's arm, quickly slid off. Still with the blush spreading on his cheeks and neck, Dean turned around, looking at his brother. He had 5 books in his arms. "I... I couldn't pick 3."  
Dean was still a little too nervous to properly speak. "It's fine. I'll... Hide the other 2 from dad. Now, give them to mister Novak and we're returning home, okay?"  
Sam gave a slow nod and slid his books over the desk.  
After arranging everything, Sam put his books in his brother's bag. "Untill next week, I suppose?" Castiel said, a friendly smile on his face.  
"Yes, I suppose. Goodbye, sir."  
"Goodbye."  
They left the building. "Dean, why was that man's hand on your arm when I returned?"  
Quick as lightning, Dean's head turned to his brother. "Don't say anything about this to ányone, got it?" Sam frowned, but nodded slowly. Dean pointed his gaze back at the road in front of him. He hadn't been in love a lot before. There was the girl next door, once, and the popular girl that sat right in front of him in English, maybe one or two more. There had also been one of his friends at one of his previous schools, but that ended because he had to move once again.  
He recognized the feeling he felt now. It wasn't love at first sight. Dean wasn't one of the hopeless romantics believing in that. But what he díd feel, was the sense of connection with Castiel; or maybe it was just his beautiful blue eyes and messy hair.  
There was something making him want to return to the library as quick as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes back to the library after a long week of waiting, and finds out he might've been thinking as much about Castiel as Castiel did about Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to keep you guys updated! The following chapters won't be coming this quick since I'm still kind of thinking out the plot and stuff like that. I'll try not to keep the waiting times too long, tho! ^^  
> -x Solitaria

A week usually didn't feel as long as it did now for Dean. It mostly wasn't more than church on sunday, then 5 days of school with homework and chores at home afterwards. The only exciting thing happening now was the library on saturday.  
Luckily, they didn't get in trouble because of Sam having 5 books instead of 3. Their father had been busy the entire week; he didn't care about what stupid books his son rented, as he'd say it. He probably didn't care about his sons in general. Good thing they were used to it.  
Sam made the smart choice not to mention the clear nervosity Dean felt. He was fidgeting with the bag holding the books and even biting his nails sometimes - something Dean barely did. Dean had been thinking about Castiel and what exactly he felt all week, even though it wasn't a lót yet. He thought about it when the teacher explained something or when the priest preached about homosexuality being strictly forbidden - oh, the irony. Dean tried to push it all back, but the sight of those blue eyes kept popping up in his mind.  
Breathe in, push open the library doors, breathe out. What was he even stressing about?  
He was sitting there, of course. He was reading a book himself - I couldn't see the title from here. As soon as we entered, he quicly closed it and put it on the ground. "Good morning." he said in a calm voice.  
"Good morning, mister Novak." Sam said. Dean just nodded as a greeting. After Sam turned in his books and disappeared between the shelves again, Dean had the guts to walk over to the desk. He leaned over it. "Is there anyone else here right now?" he whispered. Castiel nodded slowly while he scanned the room. "A man. I think he's somewhere near the back shelves right now. I can't see him from here." Dean nodded.  
"Well, how was your week, Dean?"  
Dean shrugged. "Hm. Nothing special. Church on sunday, school in the weekdays."  
"What school do you go to?"  
"Oh, just the high school here in the village."  
Castiel seemed surprised. "High school? You seem much older." Dean shrugged again. He was about to say something back when a young man came around the corner. He was carrying two books under his arm, which both seemed to be about animals. "Interest for animals, sir?" Castiel asked, a friendly smile on his face.  
"Just get it finished. I'm in a hurry." The man dropped the book on the desk. Castiel sighed, got the work done and handed the books back. "They have to be back in two weeks. See you then, sir." Without further reply, the man walked away.  
"Well, he wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine." Dean chuckled. Castiel shortly grinned as well. "Ah well, people like this come in all the time. Most people seem to be in a hurry all the time." Castiel got up to stand against the desk, right next to Dean. He leaned over so he could whisper something in Dean's ear. "Does your brother know? About you liking men?"  
Dean nodded. "He was curious. I had to tell him all about it this week. Don't worry about him knowing too much."  
"And your parents?"  
"Just my father. My mother died when I was young." Castiel's mouth fell open. Dean saw him looking for a thing to say "Don't apologize for it. You can't do a thing about it."  
"And... And your father?"  
"He'd hate me."  
"Well, I've got a problem then. I was going to ask you on a date, but I bet you won't be able to explain that to your dad then."  
Dean's head turned to Castiel, his eyes wide. A date? "My dad usually isn't home. I... I can sneak away without anyone noticing. When and where?"  
A satisfied grin appeared on Castiel's face. "The library closes on wednesdays. You can come over to my place then, I'll cook us something nice, if you'd like that." Dean nodded, a soft smile on his face. Castiel took a small paper, wrote his address down, and an hour. 7 PM. "Here. I guess I'll see you then?"  
"Definately."  
Castiel walked back to his seat. They didn't say a word untill Sam returned with his books. Only when they left the building, Castiel said goodbye and they said it back.  
"Dean, did I hear you're going to Castiel's house on wednesday?"  
His brother's goddamned curiosity. Dean nodded. Sam smiled. "I'll tell dad you have to go do something for school if you make my English homework."  
Dean laughed out loud. "No problem, Sam."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After days of waiting, Dean finally goes to Castiel's house for the planned date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter again! Hope you guys enjoy it! ^-^  
> -x Solitaria

The clock showed the time '6:37 PM' and Dean still hadn't decided what to wear. He could put on his one pretty suit, but wasn't that too formal for a date at home? He could just go for every-day clothing, but wasn't that too casual for a first date? The stereotype that only girls spent a lot of time on their outfits didn't fit for him today.  
At a dangerously late time, he went for a jeans with a white dress shirt and a black tie. He didn't have any formal shoes - he had to rely on his casual black sneackers. They matched with the tie anyway.  
Dean was lucky that his dad wasn't home this night. He had to hope for it when he said yes to Castiel, which meant he would've been screwed if his dad would have been home. He didn't even dare to think about what that would result in.  
After checking every last detail of his outfit, he jumped on his motorcycle. He had been to the street Castiel lived in before. He would have to break one or two traffic rules to get there in time; but it was probably worth it.

Dean parked the motorcycle on a parking nearby and walked the rest, counting the house numbers as he passed them. 24. 26. 28.  
Castiel lived at 36.  
30\. 32. 34. 36.  
His house didn't seem big from the outside - it didn't have more than one floor. It looked like it was quite old too; probably his grandma's house then. With his hand shaking slightly, he walked up to the front door and pressed the doorbell. The door flew open within the next 5 seconds, and another 5 seconds later, he was inside. "Good evening, Dean."  
"Good evening." Dean looked at Castiel. He was wearing a black pair of pants with a blazer that seemed to match it, a white dress shirt and a blue tie. Dean felt a little underdressed in his jeans. Maybe he should've gone with his suit instead of just the shirt and tie...  
Dean followed Castiel through the short hallway up to the living room. He had a small television with a couch in front of it, an eating table with 4 spots and a little kitchen. Castiel had done his best to make the room as cozy as possible: there was a tablecloth on the small table and a candle. An LP player in the corner of the room was playing a song Dean didn't recognize, but it sounded old.  
"Here, take a seat." Castiel pushed one of the chairs back. With a smile, Dean sat down and hung his leather jacket over the back of the chair. "Dinner's ready in a minute. It's nothing fancy, just chicken like my grandma used to make it and potatoes. I've only got salad if you want vegetables with it."  
Dean shook his head. "No, it's fine. Just chicken and potatoes sounds great." It would probably be better than the poor attempts Dean did to cook.  
As promised, the food appeared on the table after a minute. It looked absolutely amazing. Castiel cut off a piece of the chicken. "Is this okay?"  
"Yes, of course. Thank you."  
Castiel scooped some potatoes on the plate, served himself, and then walked back to the fridge to get a bottle of red wine out of the fridge. "I'm... I'm not old enough to drink yet..." Castiel shrugged.  
"I don't have anything else. You don't mind drinking wine? I can give you tap water if you don't like it."  
"Oh no, please, it's fine then." Dean had tried wine before. It wasn't his favorite drink, but it was better than water. He could live with it. Castiel poured them both a glass and then sat down. Nothing but the music coming from the back of the room was heard as they started eating.  
"This is amazing, where did you learn to cook like this?"  
A smile appeared on Castiel's face. "I'm glad you like it. My grandma taught me."  
"Your grandma had some amazing cooking skills."  
They continued eating without saying a word untill they were both finished. Castiel put the plates in the sink, pulled a bag of crisps out of the cupboard and sat down on the couch. He was quickly followed by Dean. "I'd propose to watch tv, but it's broken. I'm sorry." Castiel said with a nod towards the television.  
"Oh, don't apologize. It's not a problem, really."  
Dean saw Castiel wanted to reply, but then suddenly noticed the LP playing had ended. "You mind if I go -"  
"No, go ahead."  
Castiel got up to the corner of the room. He flicked through the box with the LP's and picked one out. After putting the one that had been in before back, he put the new one in, carefully replaced the needle and got up again. By the time he sat back down in the couch, the music started. "Bon Jovi?" Dean yelled when hearing the first note's of the song.  
"You like them too?"  
"Yes!" Dean nearly jumped up. "My dad loves them, he always puts it up when he's home."  
"Oh, that's nice! And how do you mean, when he's home?"  
"Well, yeah... He has a kind of busy job and sometimes he just doesn't come home at night. He doesn't even tell us where he goes usually."  
Castiel raised his eyebrows and put a hand on Dean's arm. "I'm sorry. Your dad seems like a rude person."  
"He is," Dean replied without hesitation. There was no doubt about that.  
"I get why you're afraid to tell him you're queer."  
Dean nodded. "I just wish I could, sometimes." He felt like he had a thousand words to say, but he couldn't find them.  
And then, suddenly, without any warning, Dean felt his tie being pulled at. Before he realized, he felt the other man's lips on his - but it ended before he even got what was happening. Castiel stood up, shaking his head, rubbing his hand across his heating cheek. "I'm sorry, I just... I shouldn't have..." He was shut up by Dean pulling his sleeve so he fell back on the couch. Castiel ended up with his head across Dean's lap. Dean bent his neck so their lips were teasingly close again. His heart was beating like crazy and he felt his hands shaking, but he tried not to hesitate. "Don't be sorry, Castiel."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean leaves Castiel's place, but the timing wasn't one of the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW, there's some violence in here.  
> Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for a while, by the way. School started again this week, so I've had far less time to write. I'm sorry, I'll make sure I won't update too slowly!~  
> -x Solitaria

Castiel, as Dean told him, didn't stop. They rose up from the position where Castiel was on Dean's lap, only to continue the kiss sitting up. Dean suddenly let go.  
"I'm 17."  
"I'm 23. Do I look like I care about 5 years difference?"  
Dean shook his head and got pulled back into the kiss. It had been a while for him to get kissed like this, but that made sense. The only people who he kissed so far were inexperienced 16-year-olds at parties. Kissing an attractive 23-year-old was a whole different thing - Dean didn't want to know how many people had been there before him, how many people Castiel has had to practice with before this kiss.  
"I didn't even know why I did that," Castiel muttered when letting go.  
"Hey. I didn't say I minded it," Dean reacted.  
"Yes, but oh god, it was so impulsive and quick! I only know you for like, a week and a half or something."  
Given that fact, Castiel might've been right. Dean still thought it didn't feel wrong. He knew how guilt after a kiss felt. There had been some girls he might have kissed a little too early, but this one didn't feel like it was. He still felt the same sense of connection with Castiel. It felt right; even if it was a one time thing or a long term one.  
He might have a problem if this was more than a one time thing. How would he ever hide having a boyfriend for his father? It wasn't like he was gone all the time. He came home sometimes - they never knew when. If Dean wouldn't be home then, his dad would ask Sam where he was at, and Sam wouldn't be able to lie. Dean wasn't sure if he'd make it out alive in such a situation.  
Because of his thinking, Dean suddenly forgot there was a silence between them. Castiel gazed awkwardly at the walls, Dean was staring somewhere in the distance.  
"Wait - Castiel, do you happen to know how late it is? I told my brother I'd be home by nine."  
Castiel pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to look at his wristwatch. "8:40 PM. You can leave if you want to be home in time."  
Dean didn't want to leave.  
"Okay, I think I better leave, then. My brother is gonna be worried if I show up late." Dean said while getting up. Castiel nodded. He hurried to get Dean's coat of his chair and handed it to him.  
"By the way, Dean... Do you think you can come over again another time? I really liked it. You don't have too, it's just-"  
A smile appeared on Dean's face as he interrupted Castiel. "No, I'd love to. When?"  
"Next week, same place and time? We can go somewhere else if you want to, but I think here is easiest."  
"Great. I'll see you then."  
Castiel led Dean out of the door. They said goodbye, and when the door closed, Dean couldn't help making a little victory jump. The situation now looked like it wouldn't just be a one time thing, and he couldn't help smiling as he walked back to the parking lot where his motorcycle was.  
Untill he saw a 67' Chevy Impala entering the street.  
His father's car.  
He suddenly realized he left the small note with Castiel's address and the time on his bed.  
Dean tried running back to Castiel's house, but even though Dean could run quick, cars were still quicker. The car stopped right next to him. John jumped out and ran until he was close enough to grab Dean's arm. He pulled it so hard Dean swore it could've broke his arm. "Dean Winchester. You left your brother home the whole night to do what, eat together with some guy? I've told you enough I'd don't want a faggot son, you heard me?! And still you go out to have dinner with a guy!" Dean flinched when John lifted his arm, but couldn't back off. The man's hand landed painfully on Dean's cheek.  
Two times. Three times. Four times.  
"And now you're coming with me, and you're not leaving your room for weeks. I don't give a fuck about your school, just find an excuse yourself."  
Dean got dragged over the sidewalk and was nearly thrown into the passenger's seat of the car. John didn't say a word when they drove or when he pushed Dean into his room. He was already getting scared of getting hit again, but John just locked the room. Dean heard his footsteps walking towards the living room. He heard Sam ask what happened, but he didn't get an answer.  
Once Dean settled in the corner of his room, curled up with his back against the wall, the tears started to flow. He couldn't stay here. It wasn't the first time John had beaten one of his kids, but this time would be the last time he'd ever hit Dean.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes up after yesterday's date with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter from Castiel's point of view for y'all~  
> From now on I'll also (try to) be updating every sunday! Writing currently isn't going very well but I hope I'll at least have one chapter a week.  
> -x Solitaria

Castiel woke up in the couch; the book he had been reading before he fell asleep was laying open next to him. A few pages were folded. He should've put it away when he felt he was gonna fall asleep: he had no idea at what page he was now.  
He got up and scanned the living room. It looked like a mess: the wine glasses they drank out were on the floor, the half empty bottle next to it. All tableware was piled up in the sink, waiting to be washed. He could do that later; maybe it was a good idea to make some breakfast first.  
A few minutes later, he sat down at the table with a cup of coffee and some buttered bread. He thought about yesterday. The date with Dean was fun. It wasn't the best date he ever had, but that had only given him the excuse to plan a new date. This time, he planned on doing something more exciting than just staying home and eating self-cooked dinner. Maybe he could take Dean to the nearby forest for a picknick and some walking? Or maybe he could even save a little money to go to the cinema? Who knew - there was a chance Castiel would come up with an even better idea in a few days. He wasn't really planning on one certain activity yet.  
The library opened at 2 PM on thursdays and closed at 5. The clock currently showed 11:18 AM - he still had a while before he had to leave. He decided to finish his book - there were no more than 4 chapters left, if he was right - and then... He didn't know what then. Maybe he could clean up the house a little. His bedroom could use a little cleaning right now.

Castiel left his house around 1:30 PM. His house was almost perfectly clean now - maybe he could do the bathroom another time.  
He could the old bike out of the garage and jumped on it. It was winter and the temperatures got under zero regularly. Castiel was wearing a thick scarf and gloves that were his grandma's. They looked kind of ridiculous, but they kept him warm.  
He noticed a motorcycle on the small parking lot at the beginning of his street. Wasn't this Dean's? He could've sworn he had seen it before when Dean came to the library. It had a small backseat where Sam could sit. Castiel hadn't seen the motorcycle here before; did one of the people in the neighbourhoud buy one?  
Castiel hit the brakes - the bike stopped with a loud creaking noise. With the bike next to him, he walked onto the lot, towards the motorcycle standing there. There was a helmet dangling from the steering wheel - a black one with a silver line. There was no doubt: this was Dean's bike and his helmet. Why was it still standing here? What if something happened to Dean? He had no idea where the boy lived or what his number was. He had to wait untill saturday if he wanted to see if Dean was okay. It worried him. Maybe he could look up his name in a phone book tonight and call his house. No, wait, he couldn't - if his dad picked up, Dean would have to explain a lot, probably.  
There was no other option than waiting untill saturday.

Perfectly in time, Castiel arrived at the library. He put his bike next to the building, opened the door and walked in. After turning on the lights, he took place behind the desk.  
Thursday, thursday. Usually a not-so-busy day: the two old ladies who always came together, one younger woman, and either the man or woman from a couple that used to come together. The woman had told me they had to switch every week, because they had a baby. She'd always ask him if he had a wife to make kids with yet. He always smiled and shook his head then, claiming that 'no lady wanted a librarian'.  
Castiel knew that would have to become his future one day: get a wife and kids. He wish he didn't have to. He only liked men - he'd have to fake his love if he ever wanted to fit in. Castiel heavily dreaded it. He didn't want to marry a woman. Maybe he'd change one day. Maybe he could fit in one day.

After 3 long hours, Castiel could finally get up and leave. He quickly hopped in the grocery store on the way home - somewhere in the 3 hours he decided he wanted pasta tonight. He remembered having to throw away a bag of tomatoes this morning, and he also believed he was out of pasta noodles.  
When riding back home, he noticed the motorcycle still standing on the parking lot. He got really worried. What made Dean leave it there? With a frown on his face, he focussed on the road again. A minute later he was home. After putting the bike back into the garage, he walked inside with the grocery bag in his hand. He put it on the kitchen table for now - he wasn't hungry yet. Cooking would be for a little later this evening.  
He sat down in his couch and picked up a new book to read. It wasn't for long, though: he was only 2 pages far when his doorbel ringed. Castiel put the book down, walked up to the door and pulled it open.  
The person in front of him was Dean. There was dried blood on his hands, tears in his eyes and a bruise on the left side of his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel agrees to take Dean in for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! ^-^ New chapter as you can see!~  
> I've got some smut ready in chapter 8 right now, so stay tuned :3  
> -x Solitaria

"Dean, oh god, what happened?" Castiel said, his eyebrows in a frown, a worried look in his blue eyes. Worry didn't even describe it. It was more than just plain worry. "Just... Just come inside. Clean yourself up a little and explain then." Dean followed Castiel to the bathroom, where he received a cold, wet washcloth. As he started to wipe the blood of himself - which was hard because it had dried already - he explained.  
"My dad found out I was at your house for dinner because I left the note you wrote on my bed. He came home while I was gone. He drove all the way here and found me the minute I left your house. He... He beat me and drove me home where he literally locked me in my room."  
Castiel raised his eyebrows. It explained why Dean's motorcycle was still on the parking lot. "I'm so sorry, I knew your dad wasn't the nicest person but I didn't expect something like this..."  
Dean just chuckled sarcastically. "Not the nicest person? That isn't even close. It feels like he's a fucking demon." Castiel couldn't do a thing besides staring at the ground. He felt like it was his fault. If he hadn't asked Dean for a date, this would never have happened.  
"Well, eh, are you hungry? I was about to make some spaghetti."  
"I'd like some spaghetti, yes." Dean could crack a little smile at the thought of food. He hadn't eaten all day until now. Anything would taste good to him right now - he was just lucky he really liked pasta.  
Dean sat down quietly while Castiel cooked. His hands occasionally slipped towards the bruise on his head. Dean woke up this morning with the spot throbbing from pain. When he first looked in the mirror, it was red-blue-ish. He was lucky he had a hoodie to cover it up. People would've stared otherwise.  
He then took a little time to inspect his hands. Climbing out of a broken window hadn't been good for him. Even though he had put a blanket over it, the glass still cut through the blanket, which resulted in cuts on his hands and one on his jeans from jumping. His foot also hurt; he didn't land very well. But the pain would pass, it always did.  
"Can't I help?" Dean said, turning his head.  
"No, thank you. I'm nearly finished. Could you... Maybe set the table ready? All plates and such are in the cupboard over there," Castiel answered, pointing his head to a cupboard behind him.  
With a nod, Dean got up. He pulled out two plates, careful of his painful hands. He took the cutlery and two glasses. "Thank you. You can already sit down now. It's ready in a minute." Castiel smiled at Dean. Seeing Castiel smile made him feel a little better - the blue eyes lit up in a way that made Dean's insides lighter. Maybe it could even make him forget about his pain for a while.  
As promised, a minute later, Castiel put the casserole on the table. "Feast." The little smirk again.

Castiel quit mid-eating to look at Dean. "Hey, I don't wanna be rude, but I don't think you can stay here for long."  
"I know that." Dean nodded. He never expected that.  
"I think you can stay for a while, I know you can't go anywhere else, Dean."  
Dean pointed his eyes at his plate. He hated being a burden to the guy. Why, why, why did he have a father like this. "Thank you. Could I... Maybe help in the library with you? Or do other stuff to help? I can go do groceries or some other job to compensate what you're doing for me." Dean looked up again. He really wanted to help Castiel. With whatever he could do.  
"You should go to school again."  
"Are you crazy? My dad will call the school as soon as he notices I'm gone!"  
Castiel nodded. He suddenly stood up; his plate was empty. "There's still some pasta leftover. Do you... Want the rest? Or can I take it"  
"Go ahead." With another nod, he started emptying the pot into his plate. "Well, Dean," he continued while sitting down again ,"I would really appreciate if you could help in the library. There's no one else in there, so I could use a little help."  
Dean didn't reply, he just nodded in agreement. They finished their food, did the dishes afterwards, and then sat down on the couch. Castiel turned to Dean again. "Listen, I don't have a problem with you staying here, but I think you noticed I have very little space here."  
Dean shrugged. "That's no problem. I can sleep on the couch or something."  
"No, you don't have to. You can sleep in my bed."  
Dean frowned and looked up. He didn't want Castiel to sacrifice his bed. "Please don't give up your bed."  
"Did you really think I'd do that? Of course not." Castiel grinned. "I meant that you're sleeping there with me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dean's first day working at the library, but an unexpected guest could change some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which you might guess from the ending of this chapter, there's gonna be some smut in the next chapter! I'm pretty stressy to put it on because I'm scared it's not really good/it's happening too quick in the fic.  
> Regardless of that, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter c:  
> -x Solitaria

The offer surprised Dean, but he definately didn't turn it off. Castiel was one of the most handsome men he had ever seen, afterall; who'd say no to that?  
There was a double bed. It used to be the bed Castiel's grandma and her husband slept in; until they both died, of course. It felt a little unsettling to sleep in a bed that belonged to people who were dead now. It was a fact Dean was willing to forgive; he wasn't sleeping alone in there, afterall.  
Castiel threw an old shirt that Dean gracefully catched. "You can sleep in this. I don't wear it anyway. You need pants to sleep in as well?"  
"I'm fine, thanks."  
After quickly changing into their improvised pajamas, the lights were turned off and they got underneath the covers.   
Sleeping with someone else when being used to sleeping alone was an awkward experience. Dean had no idea how close he was allowed to get. He turned his back to the other man, but felt a cold hand touch his shoulder a minute later. "Hey," he heard in a whispering tone. "You seriously don't have to lay on the edge of your bed. It's fine if you come a little closer."  
Dean was grateful for the dark. It hid his cherry red cheeks.   
"I, eh, how-" Dean began, but he was quickly pulled across the bed. "Just say if you're not okay with it, Dean." Dean felt a warm body against his. Another nose touched Dean's nose. A rough pair of lips followed quickly, a hand travelled across his arm. Dean's mind went blank as he kissed back, letting his hands roam free over Castiel's body. His arm, his hips, his stomach, his hair. He felt the muscles underneath his skin and the rythmic rise and fall as he breathed.  
"That's more like it." Castiel commented quietly. He smiled and continued the kiss for a while, until he suddenly quit and turned around. "Better go to sleep now. Library opens at 9 am."  
"Sure. Goodnight."  
"Night."  
Dean closed his eyes, surprised by the sudden arms around his body a minute later. "You're the least romantic person ever, Dean."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't make a big deal of it. Goodnight, now."

The annoying beeping sound filled the room. Light peeked through the curtains. A sigh, muffled by the pillow, escaped Castiel's mouth. After pressing the button so the sound stopped, he tugged at Dean's arm. "Morning,"  
"Mmh." Dean responded, rolling over and placing his feet on the ground. "Good morning."   
"Are you serious again?" Castiel stretched out and pulled Dean into the bed again. "I've told you yesterday. You're being the least romantic person ever, again." Dean chuckled and crawled under the covers. Before he could answer, Castiel crashed his lips on Dean's, cupping the man's face in his hands. It went unnoticeable that they had just woken up; Castiel didn't hold back. Dean actually had to pause to breathe. "Wow." A smirk. "Good morning to you, also. Why did I deserve that?"  
"You look hot when you just woke up." This time, unfortunately, there was no dark this time to hide Dean's blush. "And you're cute when you blush," Castiel added, before kissing Dean again.

It was only logical that they stayed in bed way too long. There was no 'snooze'-button on Castiel's alarm clock, so they didn't get reminded to get up. If it wasn't for Dean who suddenly remembered they had to open the library in time, they would've made out all day.  
They rushed to the living room. Castiel served some toast with butter, accompanied by coffee. They ate it in a rush, got dressed, and walked outside just in time. They might even make the library just in time.

Just in time, it was. Castiel's watch showed 8:56 AM. "I don't think I put yesterday's books back yet. Someone came in late with a whole pile and I really didn't feel like putting them back. I'll explain where they have to go and then you can do it, maybe." Castiel said while opening the door and entering.   
"Sure." They walked through the little hallway with the door to the toilets and then into the main room where the shelves and desk were. Castiel quickly explained how the shelves were divided and which book would belong where. "I'll help you put back the books for the first time, but I hope you'll be able to do most of it alone after that." Dean nodded. "Let's get it started."

The rest of the hours passed by slowly. An hour later, Castiel ended up with his legs on the desk, talking enthusiastically about the first time he got drunk. Dean sat next to his legs, laughing occasionally. They ended up on the subject of Dean getting drunk the first time, and how he kissed his first boy that night. The two started talking about relationships, about getting rejected, and the end of the shift got close before they noticed.  
In the last 10 minutes, they had given up on the hope that anyone would still come in. Dean was on Castiel's lap, their lips were stuck together again. It wasn't until Dean heard a familiar engine coming that he had to let go. "It's my dad's car," he hissed, terror in his eyes, fear in his voice, his hands trembling. "Get under the desk. Nów." Castiel whispered. He pulled Dean off his lap and put him on the ground. Dean got pressed against the back of the desk - he was lucky it was a closed in the front and sides. Castiel rolled his chair forwards. He was forced to open his legs - right in front of Dean. This might become harder than it sounded.   
Curled up into a ball, Dean held his breath when the door opened. "Hello, I'm looking for my son. This is the library he goes to with his brother sometimes, I'm wondering if he could be here."   
His father. Dean clenched his fist upon hearing the man's voice.   
"I'm sorry, sir. I haven't seen anyone coming in here for hours now."   
Dean couldn't help staring at the little bulge in Castiel's pants.  
"Hasn't he been here earlier? He has... Dark blond hair and blue eyes. Green coat, probably. And a plaid shirt."  
"I don't think I've seen a person like that here today, sir. I'm very sorry. If you mentioned your sons came here before, can I contact you on the number that's in our client list?"  
Castiel's crotch was extremely distracting. It was inappropriate to look at it like this. The feeling he felt in his own pants was also very inappropriate, he guessed.  
"Are you sure?"  
"A hundred percent, sir."  
Dean knew he should look away. His quickening breath would reveal him sooner or later.  
"Mmh. Okay then. Thank you. Goodbye."  
"Goodbye, sir."  
When he heard the car drive away, Castiel looked back underneath the desk. "You can come up agai- Dean, were you staring at my crotch?"  
"Maybe."  
"I'm serious. Come back up now."  
The usual blush again. "I'm sor-"  
"Don't apologize," Castiel said smirkingly. "That sounds pretty hot."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter with smut *dies*  
> I'm warning you, it could be really bad, I've never put a smutty fic online. So, anyway, I hope you guys enjoy? ^^  
> -x Solitaria

Castiel turned around the 'open/closed' sign to 'closed' 5 minutes earlier than they actually had - not that that really mattered. He locked the door, shut the curtains. In the meantime, Dean had gotten up and stared at Castiel with a confused face. "Wha-" Castiel gestured Dean to shut up. He walked up to him and grabbed his shoulders, leaning in closer to whisper in Dean's ear. "Ever gone further than just kissing with someone?"   
Dean's mouth fell open at the sound of Castiel's question. "I... I haven't, no."  
"Would you?"  
His hands were sweating. He had no idea how to respond. He liked Castiel, he thought he was incredibly handsome, and he knew what he felt under the desk a minute ago. He believed the answer was yes, but he didn't have the guts to say it.  
"You don't have to, Dean..." Castiel quickly said when he noticed the boy's insecurity.  
Dean nodded. "I-I think so, ye-yes..." He took a deep breath and straightened his back. "Yes," he repeated then, more certain of his answer. He still wasn't 100% sure. But he didn't want to reject Castiel right now.  
"You sure? Please don't do things you don't want for me."  
"Yes. I am. But I... I'd have no idea what to do, to be honest."  
"Don't worry. I'll start slowly. Just go... Sit down right there." Castiel grabbed the sleeve of Dean's plaid shirt and dragged him towards the chair. As soon as Dean was sat down, Castiel placed himself on Dean's lap. He started with a kiss on the side of his head and travelled across his cheek to his lips. The kiss only for about 5 seconds when Castiel moved hips lips to Dean's chin and his neck. With his mouth still in the boy's neck, he tugged on the hem of Dean's shirt. Dean allowed him to pull it over his head. Before it even hit the ground, Castiel was already moving his lips over Dean's torso. Dean clenched his hands around the seating of the chair when the man's tongue teasingly swirled around his nipple for a second and then moved on. Castiel stopped halfway down to put himself on his knees, and then continued to form a trail of kisses down to Dean's belly button. He looked up to meet the green eyes for a second. "Are you fine?"  
Dean bit his lip, but nodded.  
Castiel's hands didn't seem to shake when they fiddled with the buckle of the belt. Dean lifted his ass for a second so Castiel could slide down his pants. He felt his dick throbbing as Castiel tugged at his underwear. A wave of embarrassment hit him as he sat down practically naked with a face right in front of his already half hard dick. He tried to hide the fact he was shaking as much as possible, but failed utterly.   
Without any further warning, Castiel took Dean's dick with one hand and softly planted a kiss on the head, while his second hand joined the first one. Dean dug his nails into the palm of his hands. Castiel opened his mouth slightly to take the head into his mouth. His hands were still lazily stroking. It nearly made Dean go insane. He never felt a thing like this - he let out a small moan before he even knew he did so.   
Castiel let his slips slide over Dean's cock, careful and slow. They barely touched, and Dean still felt something tingling in his stomach. Castiel looked up for a second. "Good?"   
"Y-yes," Dean whimpered. It felt good.  
It felt great.  
Maybe a little awkward that another man was about to put his mouth all over his dick. Maybe a little scared of regret later. But still, good.  
Castiel just nodded and looked down again. This time, he took more than just the head in his mouth. Dean thought he'd explode. He made a strange noise; something between squeaking and moaning. Castiel continued, sliding his tongue along the length - excruciatingly slow. "C-cas... God, st-" Dean inhaled sharply. His nails dug even further in his skin. If this would happen regularly, Dean should cut maybe cut them soon.   
Castiel briefly looked at Dean through his eyelashes. He heard his quick and hasty breaths, his eyes squinted. Maybe it was a good idea to quit this now - he didn't feel like cleaning the floor if Dean'd come. That'd be something to do back home.  
"Hey. I better end this now." Castiel muttered. Dean nodded - he didn't feel like protesting. When Castiel got up to grab Dean's shirt off the floor, Dean hastily pulled his pants back up, his cheeks flushed red. He put the shirt back on and followed Castiel outside. The cold wind cooled his heating cheeks.  
Dean liked it. Of course he did - there wasn't any doubt about that. There was only one question rushing through his thoughts.   
Would he have to return the favor soon?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel plans a date, but again - something seems to get in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Writing is still going a little tough these days. I hope I'll still be able to update in time the following weeks ;-;  
> -x Solitaria

They didn't expect it to happen, but something seemed to be more awkward between Dean and Castiel. They didn't know how it happened - everything seemed to have gone okay. Maybe they just went a little to fast. Castiel couldn't stop wondering.  
Should they have waited? It wasn't like Dean didn't like it. Castiel saw his face. That wasn't the face a man got after a bad blowjob. Oh, well: it wás Dean's first time getting a thing like this. Castiel told himself that was the reason - it kept him at least a little soothed.

Castiel's thoughts raced in bed. Dean was laying pretty far away from him; only their cold feet touched. It upsetted Castiel. There was something he had to do.  
Tomorrow when they'd wake up would be a saturday, which meant the library was open in the evening. He could take Dean somewhere and come back in time. Or could he risk just not showing up? Saturday wasn't a busy day. He could just put up a little sign saying the library didn't open for personal reasons. He could take Dean somewhere nice, somewhere prettier than here or the library, somewhere where they'd be alone.  
Castiel liked reading. He enjoyed stories about people falling in love. Most of those love stories ended the same - but they got to that ending in a hundred different ways. Castiel wanted to make his own stories - he wanted to live a life people would read about. If he handled it right, he could make tomorrow the kind of chapter everyone always talked about. The one memorable chapter. _This is where they really fell in love._

As usual, Castiel woke up earlier than Dean. But instead of staying in bed and snuggling closer to Dean, Castiel got up as silently as possible. He wrote a note, saying that Dean had to stay in bed because there'd be a surprise. He sticked it to the back of the door and left.  
Castiel came up with an amazing date idea yesterday night - he just needed a few more things from the store. He hopped on his bike and drifted to the local store. He hurried, even jumped right in front of some old woman in the checkout queue, ignoring her rants about how he should show some respect. He was in a hurry, he didn't care about her. He passed by the library too, to stick a little note to the door, saying they wouldn't open today.  
Not much later, he entered the house again with a bag full of stuff. Dean didn't seem to be awake yet: there wasn't a sound coming from the bedroom. He didn't expect it to be different anyway: the clock showed something around 9 o'clock. If things went as they usually did, Castiel still had over an hour to get everything ready.  
His glorious plan was a hike in the forest - there was one a few towns away. He could take the car that used to be his grandma's. The 'emergency-only-car', they always called it: it broke down a little too often to be a called a normal car. He knew a date wasn't exactly an emergency, but Castiel really wanted to do this. It definately wouldn't have been the first time it'd break down, so Castiel knew exactly how to fix it.  
For breakfast, he wanted to pass by a cozy breakfast bar he knew ; lunch would be a picknick he made himself. He'd put it in the trunk and surprise Dean when they started to get hungry in the afternoon. They'd get back before it was dark. Castiel expected it to be an awesome day. He really looked forward to spending it with Dean.  
With the little recipe book in his hand, Castiel rushed through the kitchen, looking to get everything as fast as possible. He planned on making sandwiches and some little pecan pies - he heard they were Dean's favorite food. He also had some fruit salad to bring, and a few bottles of wine. That'd do just fine, or at least he hoped so.

About an hour and a half later, Castiel was finished and loaded everything into the old basket he found. The thing looked like it could fall apart any minute, but he hoped it would last just long enough. He put it in the trunk of the car and then walked back inside. Now would be a good time to check on Dean: if he was awake already, they could leave; if not, he'd just snuggle in bed for a little longer.  
The bedroom was still silent. It was surprising - Dean slept long, but never this long. Castiel pushed open the door.  
Dean wasn't there.  
Castiel checked the bathroom. The bedroom again. The note Castiel left was on the floor and replaced for a new one. It had Dean's handwriting on it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter as you can see~   
> I hope you guys are still enjoying the fic up till now, since there is barely any plot or whatsoever. I hope that'll be coming soon, tho. Can't promise when, but it'll come, so stay tuned :')  
> -x Solitaria

"You're sure dad isn't home right now?" Dean asked, looking down on his brother. "He left this morning. I'm 100% sure. Man, you should've seen him, he was furious. He spent his days looking for you and when he came home at night he was mad."  
"Did he... Did he do anything to you? Like hitting?"  
Sam shook his head, and Dean sighed in relief. He wouldn't have forgiven himself if John would've hit Sam because of him. His brother didn't deserve that. "But he was mad, Dean. He just yelled a lot. About how you were a disgrace to him, that mom was lucky he didn't have to see you like this. You should be glad you didn't hear all that." Stuff like that didn't hurt Dean. He knew being queer in a time like this would cause this kind of reaction. He was used to a lot more insults than stuff about his sexuality, especially from John.  
"Do you think he's saying the truth, Sam?" Dean asked, biting his lip. "Do you think it's a bad thing I kiss guys."  
Sam just shrugged. It was clear he was uncomfortable, but he answered anyway. "I don't know, I think it's a little strange, but if it makes you happy, it's fine, I guess." Dean nodded shortly and continued looking ahead. The house shouldn't be far away now.  
The only thing Dean could think of was Castiel. He must've been dead worried now. The only thing Dean had done was write a little note, saying he had to leave for a little while for his brother. He forgot to mention how long. It probably wouldn't be more than a few hours, just to pick up some stuff and say another goodbye - but what if Castiel thought he'd leave longer? Did he care? Maybe he was just relieved he wasn't bothering anymore.   
He felt kinda bad about the fact he left without Castiel really knowing. But he seemed to be gone when Sam rang the doorbell; Dean didn't even know where. There was no note, or maybe he just didn't see it. He just hoped Castiel wasn't too worried.

After a pretty long walk, they finally arrived home. The car wasn't in the driveway. Lucky - Sam hadn't been forced by his dad to bring back Dean. Or maybe he was inside anyway and the car was just parked a little further, so Dean wouldn't run away.. No, Sam wouldn't do a thing like that. Dean trusted his brother enough to know he wouldn't do that.  
"I'm just gonna get my stuff very quickly, and then I'm off again, okay? I can't stay, my-" Was it okay to say boyfriend? Did kissing and getting a blowjob mean they were together now? "Castiel must be worried." Sam nodded.  
The house was a total mess. John was the kind of man that threw stuff when he was angry. There was a broken lamp on the floor, a chair with a broken back rest, papers shattered on the floor. He left a small pack of money - Dean had no idea where John got the money from - on the cupboard, to pay food and other stuff while he was gone. It looked like a lot, but buying your own food was more expensive than a kid would ever expect.  
"Here are your keys. Dad threw them against the wall, I picked them up for you. I already put the travel bag on your bed so you can gather stuff."  
"Thanks a lot, Sam."  
As Dean walked over to their room, Sam followed. It was only when Dean was packing, the words came out. "Aren't you gonna apologize? You left me alone with, with... With him! He was so angry, Dean, and you were just gone! I didn't even know! All I saw was a shattered window when I came home again!"  
Dean dropped the sweater he was holding and turned around. A wave of guilt hit him. "I'm... I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I-"  
Sam just sighed angrily and looked away. "I know you couldn't stay here but you could at least let me know," he commented, quieter than his rant a minute ago. Dean nodded. "Sorry, but yeah... I can't stay indeed. I'm so sorry for leaving you. Can you manage on your own?"   
"Yeah. It's fine."  
Dean didn't believe him, but he continued to pack his stuff. When the bag was so full the bag didn't close, he left. He hugged Sam, apologized a last time, said goodbye, and left again. He decided to leave his motorcycle on the parking lot it was still on: he could pick it up whenever he needed it.

When he came back at Castiel's house and rang the doorbell, the door swung open at mass speed and Castiel nearly fell into Dean's arms. "You fucking asshole, I was gonna take you on a surprise date and you ruined it!"  
"A what?"  
Castiel let go and laughed. "Just get in the car. I'm taking you somewhere."


	11. Announcement

Hi guys,  
I've been staring at a half finished chapter for 10 minutes now, and it just isn't working out. I literally have no decent plot planned for this story, I have no idea how to continue. So I have decided to stop this fic here and rewrite completely. It'll be the same starting point, but a lot behind that is gonna change.   
What I'm gonna do now is just plan the second try completely and then put the story online. As soon as I'm okay with it, I'll post a new chapter here with a link to the new story. If the story idea was what interested you and you're willing to read my second try, I recommend you check on this fic sometime later to see I haven't put up the chapter with the new link yet.  
Thanks to everyone who already read up till now and everyone who left kudo's and stuff here, but this one just isn't working out :/  
I'll see you again maybe if I upload the second try!  
-x Solitaria


End file.
